Confession:  yesterday was one of those days.

I take my role as a coach very serious.  My goal every season is to encourage every runner I work with to surpass what he or she believes is possible, and to make sure they have fun while doing it.  I greet nearly every team run with enthusiasm and excitement.  I know how tough it is for new runners to show up for the first time or those coming back from injury who worry about if they are going to be able to run again.  Negative thoughts and self doubt creep up and can make it difficult.  That’s where it becomes so important for me to try to be louder than those voices.

A recent Runner’s World article  supports the notion that positive reinforcement encourages better performance.  While this article provides new insight and scientific results, it is a concept I have understood throughout my adult life, maybe even longer.

I was a stubborn child, and an even more stubborn teen.  The best way to get  me to do something was to tell me you didn’t think I could succeed at the task.  I joined the Marine Corps and left for boot camp with some family and friends believing I wouldn’t make it.    Needless to say, Marine Corps Drill Instructors are not known for positive encouragement.  It’s more a matter of yelling at a recruit until he or she succeeds, and threats punishment if the recruit fails. Recruits are pushed to and past their breaking point, but often to success.  In recruit training I learned to dig down and find the fortitude within myself to succeed.  The Marine Corps taught me that my body can do so much more than I believe it can.  I just have to be willing to try.

While the Marine Corps taught me my body can go further and do more than I believe, my experience with another organization taught me sharing positive encouragement is a more effective tool to encourage others in everyday life.  We live in a negative world and sometimes it can be difficult for an individual to remain positive.  As a coach, I believe it’s my job to be that positive source for everyone, including myself.

Back to my confession…

In seven seasons of coaching, I have had two group run days where I had an issue with staying positive for myself.

The first time was during our final group run in my first season coaching.  It was an “easy” 6 miles, as the next week was the race.  Everyone was excited and I should have been.  I don’t remember if there was something going on at work or home, but I just remember not feeling “right” in my usual positive way.  A mile or two into the run, I commented to a fellow runner (someone I had run with since April Fools Day 2009), “I’m just not feeling ‘it’ today.”  I didn’t know what “it” was or why I wasn’t feeling “it,” but moments later, I took a tumble for the very first time on a training run.  Knees, hands, and elbow bloodied, new gloves torn, I got up laughing at myself, and carried on.

Yesterday was the 12 mile graduation run for this training time.  I should have been fired up and excited, ready to tackle the miles and cheer on my team.  Instead, I woke up not feeling “it.”  It had been a long work week. Our family going through some adjustments with my husband returning to work for the first time in several years (he’s a full time college student, getting ready to graduate).  I hadn’t prepared my gear the night before like I usually do.  I was disappointed with the weather.  After a few awesome Spring like days, we were back to chilly temps.  I had to run dressed like a “stuffed sausage” again, with tights and a thicker tech shirt to stay warm enough.  BLAH!

I went through the motions getting myself up and out of bed, dressed, to the car, and to our meeting place on time.  As I got out of the car and was gathering my belongings, one of my favorite speedy friends walked by and gave his usual enthusiastic greeting.  My response was “meh” in nature, and he noticed!  When my friend commented that I didn’t seem myself, it should have made me realize that my attitude and thoughts needed to be adjusted.  Instead, I continued going through the motions.

While I had been getting dressed, I was still hopeful it would warm up enough gloves wouldn’t be needed, so I left my usual running gloves in the clean laundry basket.  Standing in the park with my team waiting to start, I realized I was going to need some gloves at least part of time.  I knew had a some back up gloves in my running bag in the car.  These are gloves I keep in there for instances like this when I left my usual pair at home.  These are the gloves that I tore on that first training tumble when I wasn’t feeling “it.”  *Insert ominous music here.*

Still feeling “meh” I headed back to my group and half-heartedly put my positive face on.  I believed in my team.  I knew each one of them were capable of not just completing those 12 miles but to absolutely crush each mile along the way.  I’m usually an extremely positive person, but for whatever reason, “meh” was my self-thought of the day.

At 3.4 miles into the run, “meh” caught up to me as I demonstrated a not so graceful Superman-like flight, landing not so gracefully on the sidewalk around Lafayette Park.  Thankfully, I did not take down any of my team with me.  My awesome team let out a collective gasp.  When you’re sprawled on the ground in front of the people you are supposed to be leading, you have two choices:  you can cry and throw a fit, or you can come up laughing.  The decision wasn’t hard, I came up laughing.

I assessed the damage.  No torn clothes. A broken clasp on my timer.  Some mild swelling with a small bloody scrape on the heel of my right palm.  Jewelry all in tact.  Sense of humor in tact.  Pride severely bruised.  Attitude improved.  The fall literally knocked the “meh” out of me.

We carried on, running another 3 miles to our turn around point at the St. Louis Arch.  On our return trip we added some St. Louis 250th birthday fun along the way as we veered off course to visit 7 of the 199 decorative birthday cakes placed around the City.  We laughed.  We posed for pictures.  We were “photobombed” by a hotel guest having breakfast.  We celebrated the longest run ever completed by several of our members.

It is a privilege and honor to be able to lead my own little team.  I could not be more proud of their efforts and achievements.  I can’t wait to see each of them succeed on race day.  My hope is that they learned from me that attitude truly is a big part of running, and they don’t have to learn it the way I did, when I had to have the “meh” knocked out of me.